SP Ranch Journal
~Michael Coleman, first journal entry, one week after the passing of his father, Royce Coleman, January 1983~
Life changed in a moment.
This was not what I expected—it’s not the place I want to be. Yet, here we are. Suddenly I’m in charge of all of the Coleman holdings, and the privilege of it and the responsibility make my fingers tremble as I write this.
You made it look so simple, Da. Never a thing you couldn’t do, and now you’re gone, and hell if I know how to fill your boots.
Why didn’t you say something—
No. I know exactly why you didn’t mention feeling sick. You were always strong. Always the first one up and caring for the family, making the tough decisions and working until you dropped. You didn’t want us to know because you didn’t want to admit to yourself that you weren’t strong enough to fight sorrow and death. Damn stubborn fool.
It was clear you’d been a little lost the last couple of years, ever since Mom died. That wasn’t a fault, you know. Caring so much that it broke your heart once she was gone. You taught us a lot with how much you loved.
I’m so glad I had you as a father, but I sure as hell wish I’d been watching closer to see exactly how you made it look so easy. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m going to miss you even as I move forward, one foot after another. No use trying to solve problems that haven’t even shown their faces yet.
Thank God for Marion, though, or I’d be in one hell of a mess. She’s the one who got us through the funeral and the rest of it. Even hauling baby Matthew around with her, nothing slowed her down. Blake stuck by my side most of the time, the little tyke wide-eyed and with his lip quivering, because even at not yet three, he knows his Grampa is gone.
And now I don’t even know who I’m writing this for. You, the family…my sons?
Yet I know you journaled all the time. Somehow it feels right to pick up this part of your legacy. Can the act of copying something you did push me in the right direction?
Maybe it’s wishful thinking to hope that, in putting pen to paper, I’ll be able to work through troubled times. Maybe it’ll let me savour the good times better.
Or perhaps somewhere between the two extremes of grief and joy, I can build a world that makes the Colemans rich. Not as in money overflowing from our pockets, but as in a family that’s rock-solid far into the future. That’s my goal.
Always did have more gusto than brains, but we’ll see.
Chapter 1
December, present day, Six Pack ranch, Alberta
Darkness filtered to the edges of the room, the cool of the early December morning leaving the air outside the quilt crisp.
But the warmth in his arms told Blake Coleman everything he needed to know. Jaxi lay curled against him, face pressed to his chest, legs tangled with his. Skin on skin, the sweet scent of her filled his head and made his heart swell.
How he had this miracle in his life day after day—no idea. No damn idea what he’d done to deserve the goodness in his world.
She moved, head tilting back as her blue eyes opened the narrowest bit. Sleepy warmth and contentment all but dripped from her expression.
“Morning,” she whispered.
Blake pressed his mouth to hers, a smile curling his lips. “You’re not rocketing out of bed like your panties are on fire.”
She hummed, a secretive hush. “You’re the one with the lighter. If there’s going to be any panty bonfires—”
“Mama? Daddy?”
They both went silent.
It was a long shot. The chance to lay in bed late, with neither of them needing to rush away for chores, was rare in the first place. Add in five kids, and Blake could count on one hand the number of mornings in the last month they’d had the room to themselves past five a.m..
When the quiet persisted, Blake began to relax.
Curled up against him, Jaxi pressed her lips against the side of his neck, easing her legs on either side of his. A throaty moan escaped her, and Blake wanted to both laugh and curse as he realized his hand no longer rested innocently on her hip. Nope. He’d full-on cupped her ass and was even now in the process of dragging her on top of his body.
“Looking for trouble—” Jaxi began.
“Maaaaama.” The doorknob rattled as PJ’s voice rang against the door. “Daaaaaadeeeee.”
Absolutely adorable even as their four-year-old’s timing made Blake groan. “Invasion?” he asked Jaxi.
She pressed a quick kiss to his lips before carefully crawling off. “I’ll get him. You deal with—things.”
With a slightly wicked pat of her hand against his belly, Jaxi swung away before he could grab her, hips wiggling saucily as she headed toward the door.
Blake rolled, adjusting his hard-on to a more comfortable position that was slightly protected in case their oldest son decided to launch his way onto the mattress like he usually did.
“Yes? We didn’t order any pizza,” Jaxi said as she knelt beside the door.
Around her, PJ’s expression went utterly serious as he shook his head. “Not peeza. Cuddles.”
“Well, that’s totally different.” Jaxi scooped him up then closed the door and returned to the bed. “Look, Daddy, we have an early morning delivery of cuddles.”
“One of my favourite things,” Blake said sincerely, opening his arms.
PJ snuggled in, and Blake felt that pulse deep inside his heart again. The one that ached even as it brought a smile to his face.
Jaxi sat on the edge of the bed, her expression filled with wonder. “I love you.”
She said the words so simply, but it was clear the message was meant for him, not their son. Although she totally loved their kids to pieces, this thing between them wasn’t getting any smaller. After eight years of marriage, it seemed to simply grow, expanding to fill every single bit of room, not just in Blake’s heart, but in their home.
Even as he draped an arm around their son, he patted the mattress beside him. “Climb in. It’s cold out there.”
She smiled wryly. “I will. But I figured I’d wait to let the rest of them in first.”
“Who?”
He shouldn’t have bothered asking. He knew the answer.
“Daddy?” A chorus of little girls.
Jaxi blew him a kiss before sneaking from the room. By the time she got back with two-year-old Justin in her arms, the seven-year-old blonde-haired twins, Rebecca and Rachel, had settled on either side of six-year-old Lana.
Lana sighed contentedly. “I like sleepovers.”
“Not a sleepover when it’s Mommy and Daddy’s bed…” Becca explained seriously.
“…it’s family cuddles,” Rae finished.
“Shove over there, kids,” Jaxi said with amusement. “Make room for your brother.”
Shockingly, ten minutes later the bed was silent. The girls had curled up in a heap like puppies and fallen back asleep almost immediately. Against Blake’s chest, PJ’s blondish hair spread in a tangled mess. He’d snuck his thumb in his mouth, his little chest moving easily.
Justin was sprawled on top of Jaxi, contented baby snores rising from him.
And Blake and Jaxi were teetering on opposite edges of the mattress.
She was smiling, though. “Are you sure you don’t want a king-size bed?”
Blake kept his chuckle soft to avoid waking anyone. “We had any more room in here, we’d be able to fit a couple of the dogs and a small horse.”
She snapped a finger to her lips. “Shh. Do not suggest that, or the twins will try to sneak them in for a test run.”
“The dogs? Or the horse?”
“Both. Either. All of them,” Jaxi said, lips curling with amusement. Her gaze drifted over the family between them then back to Blake’s eyes. “You need to take an extra-long lunch break.”
He was lost for a moment before comprehension drifted in. While adult entertainment was out of the question this morning, it appeared there might be hope for later. “If you can find a bit of spare time in your day.”
Her gaze grew heated. “Ashley and I are doing baby swaps this week. And it doesn’t need to be a bit. Unless a bit means a couple of hours.”
Reaching across the mass of children between them meant risking waking one or two. Blake satisfied himself with his best attempt at a smolder. “I’ll be home by noon. We’ll see what we can cook up together.”
The delight on his woman’s face was as sweet as the family that lay between them and as heated as the plans that lay before them.
They stared at each other in silence, smiles on their faces, love pooling around them for another hour until it was time to head into the day.
The chaos of breakfast followed. Then backpacks and getting three little girls off to the school bus, all of them bundled up in their snow suits.
Jaxi kissed Blake sweetly before grabbing PJ’s hand. Justin peeked out of the backpack contraption she wore. “We’re headed over to Ashley’s. I promised I’d watch the kids this morning so she can paint.”
Blake shook his head in amazement. Ashley, Cassidy, and Travis already had three kids—the youngest born only three months ago. “Five kids under the age of four. You’re a glutton for punishment.”
“She’ll have them this afternoon, starting at lunch,” Jaxi reminded him, eyes brightening. “Besides. It’s nice to hold a teeny baby again.”
Her idea of a good time was far too exhausting for him. “See you at noon,” he promised.
They were well enough set up these days at the Six Pack ranch. By sharing land and sharing responsibilities between all the Coleman clans, the sense of urgency they’d all faced years before had lessened. The struggle to provide for all the family had been dealt with. While there were still moments of uncertainty, because nothing about ranching could be predicted to go smoothly, having the holdings back together had begun to create some wonderful opportunities.
Everyone’s expertise got used where it was most valuable. It meant no longer juggling to find enough grazing land or seed land or feed.
Although he did miss having his cousin Karen from the Whiskey Creek side of the family around, with the way she had with horses. She and her sisters had settled about a three-hour drive to the south of Rocky, which always struck Blake as odd.
He couldn’t think of any reason family would want to leave. Still, she seemed happy enough. Maybe when she came to visit this weekend for their early Christmas gathering, he could bend her ear for a while. Get some ideas of where she thought the Colemans should go with their horse-breeding plans.
He’d barely finished his morning paperwork when Jesse stuck his head in the door of the office. “This is where you’re hiding.”
Blake pushed the chair in then joined his brothers in the main barn. He nodded at Travis before turning back to Jesse. “Wasn’t hiding, but getting up to date. Looks as if you need to hit the books for a bit. Took a peek at your project and it doesn’t look as if you’re done.”
Jesse made a face. “One more push should do it. The last time I tried to finish up, we had that power outage, and I lost about three hours of data entry.”
He was using a state-of-the-art genetics program to help amalgamate the Coleman ranch more fully, but old wiring in creaky barns was hell on modern technology.
Blake shook his head. “Shit. Didn’t know that.”
Jesse shrugged. “Pain in the ass, but it happens. Sorry I’m a little slow. If you need the information right away, I can stay late tonight. I don’t mind if it takes longer to get it done.”
Well.
Blake eyed him sideways. That was just so not Jesse that both Blake and Travis caught it.
His little brother was no longer a lazy butt or the type to try to wiggle out of work. He also had a wife he was head over heels about and a kid he adored, plus his twin brother and family lived right next door. Jesse and Joel were as tight as anything once again.
Jesse deliberately volunteering to be late getting home?
Nope.
Travis obviously had gone through the same thought process. He raised a brow. “Dare kick you out?”
“No,” Jesse snapped, but then he looked just about as guilty as Rae had the day before when she’d been caught with her fingers in the cookie jar right before supper. “Not really. Sort of.”
“Ha.” Travis was grinning way too hard. “And if you want to work late, that means you’re also in shit with Joel, because otherwise you’d go hang out with him until Dare wants to see your ugly mug again.”
A heavy sigh escaped Jesse. “They’re all pissed at me.”
Joel, his wife, Vicki, and Dare? “That’s quite the accomplishment.” Somehow Blake kept his expression from twisting into a smile. “You deserve it?”
“Probably.” Jesse flashed a grin. “It’ll be okay. I’ll let Dare cuss me out a few times, and then I’ll work all the kinks out between us with some makeup sex.”
“You can get out of the doghouse that fast?” Travis shook his head. “You need to fight a little harder. I mean, makeup sex is good and all, but they need to be really lit on fire for it to be extra fun.”
“The man who has two spouses to get mad at him at the same time thinks fighting is fun?” Blake shook his head. “There’s a name for people like you.”
Travis actually sputtered for a second before grinning broadly.
Jesse rolled his eyes dramatically then confessed the truth.
“Because that conversation is going places I don’t want to talk about, it was just a misunderstanding. And yeah, Dare was right—I stuck my nose in where it didn’t belong.” Jesse leaned back on the wall behind him, folding his arms over his chest. “I walked in on Vicki and Joel having what I thought was a full-out, drag-down fight. I waded into the middle because I knew they’d be upset if they actually tossed bullshit at each other that hard. But it turns out they were reciting some damn movie, and Dare was there, and so all three of them gave me hell.”
Travis snorted. “A movie? For fucks sake, can’t you guys even fight about something that’s not comical?”
“Screw you, asshole.”
“Diva.”
“Loser.”
“Jerk.”
“Ahhh, brotherly love.” Blake slapped a hand at the side of Travis’s head, dodging out of the way before his brother’s instant roundhouse could connect. “Stop your jawing, and let’s get to work.”
The entire morning was filled with the goodness of hard, honest labour, followed by a sweet, dirty interlude that left Blake grinning for most of the afternoon.
He thought about all the blessings in his world and wondered—
A sense of foreboding hung over him. Like everything was too good to be true. Something was going to rush in and shake things up in a way he couldn’t anticipate.
Totally superstitious nonsense, but it felt so real. He paused before leaving the barn to head back to Jaxi and his family, stopping to rap his knuckles against the sturdy wooden frame of the man door for luck.
What they had was priceless—was precious. He didn’t want anything to change.
Return to Rocky Mountain Forever
